So lent is finally over, it’s been a tough 46 days, but I’ve managed to get through it. Even though there were some moments of weakness and temptation. But I feel cleansed and I feel a little closer to God.
The other day I found a round lump under my right chest muscle. And I immediately thought the worst. I always do. So I went to the doctor and he was new there so he couldn’t give me a concrete answer. So they made me make an appointment at an x-ray clinic.
Whilst waiting for them to contact me, I’ve been having thoughts of how it would be to die. What I would do if I found out I only had a few months left. I’ve had a good life. I had a fantastic childhood. My family has always been there for me. I’ve experienced love. I’ve done the freaky stuff.
So a part of me kind of wants there to be an end to my life soon.
But at the same time I haven’t done everything I wanted to do. I want to finish college, get a good job with a high salary, meet my dream girl, start a family, watch my dad meet my son for the first time, watch my brothers get married and die of old age.
Anyways, lately I’ve been learning to enjoy my own company. To embrace the loneliness. Because once you learn to be by yourself and enjoy your own company, you’ll appreciate the company of others much more.